Stone the Crows
by Zenkindoflove
Summary: Someone from Hyde's past dies. How will he cope and who will be there for him during the toughest struggle of his life? Chapter 7 now up.
1. Losing All

A/N: So, I've started another story. My inspiration for this came from a pretty tragic event that has happened at my school. Three girls that went to my school died in a car crash this weekend while going to one of our football games. The whole school has been pretty shaken up by it and all around me it has just be the air of death. It got me thinking a lot and somehow I spun this story off of the experience.

The basic summary is Hyde finds out someone from his past has died and how he copes with it. It has a happy JH ending so that is something for all you zennies to look forward to. Oh, and also I have only watched a total of 3 episodes from season eight so if I get any little details wrong, please forgive me. I hope you enjoy.

* * *

The ringing and rolling of the cash register as it popped open so Hyde could fill it with cool, crisp cash was the only sound to be heard in Grooves. On most days the store was filled with rambunctious teens and laidback 20-something year olds, all searching for that perfect record to set everything in motion for the day. On this particular day however the store was almost dead, except for the occasional customer and Leo bursting out with random songs and then forgetting the words after one verse. It was an eerie quiet that didn't sit to well with Hyde. 

But then again, these days most things didn't sit to well with Hyde. Even he couldn't help but acknowledge the spiraling downturn he had taken. He never felt so bitter, angry, and hurt by the entire world. Eric and Donna were gone, Kelso was gone, and soon Fez and the Formans would be gone too. He had to figure out some place to stay because the Formans would be off to Florida in two weeks. He hadn't even begun apartment searching. He just put it off… like he tended to put off most things.

He had expected all of it though. All had been pre-warned and presented to him in this nice, pretty package which really just contained a pile of dog shit. The one thing that wasn't to be expected was Fez leaving. He and Jackie hadn't even been dating for 3 weeks when suddenly he stormed into the basement one night while Hyde was trying to watch Saturday Night Live and ranted on and on about how Jackie was a liar and a tease. Hyde couldn't decipher most of it due to Fez's heavily thickened accent and his rage causing him to speak faster than normal. But from what he did get from it, Jackie told Fez that maybe her feelings weren't as strong as she had thought they were.

Something Hyde could have told anyone that wanted to know before. He knew that Jackie's little dream world about Fez being the perfect boyfriend was just one of her temporary insanity trips and would soon come crumbling at her feet. He just didn't expect it so soon.

So, Fez told Jackie he was leaving. Tomorrow was the day he was leaving for Chicago to live with Kelso temporarily until he found a job and some place better to live. Hyde wasn't sure how Jackie was taking it. He told himself he didn't care.

All that would be left of the original gang was Jackie and him. They weren't exactly enemies anymore but that didn't mean they talked to each other on a day to day basis. Especially since the union of her and Fez, he just couldn't stand to be around her for a long period of time. Those soft hands holding onto hands that weren't his, those big, mismatched eyes beaming up at someone that wasn't him, and those quiet, delicate whispers being shared with someone other than him were too much to handle. His gut immediately felt sour and his throat seemed to close up. He could only see in tunnel vision and could only hear her cheerful giggles.

It was safe to say that his past month had been spent avoiding Jackie Burkhardt. He wasn't sure how either of them would continue with their indifference but he wasn't going to make any assumptions to get his hopes up. He killed all of that a long time ago.

Life wasn't entirely bad for Steven Hyde though. He had a job that he loved, had a dad he was slowly building more and more of a bond with, and occasionally had care free sex with some hot chick just like the good old days. Who needed friends anyways? This was how he always wanted things to be.

It was also that denial that got Hyde through each day. Otherwise, he couldn't completely hold himself together. He never did admit it though. It was as if everything he did and said were a mirage, only temporarily holding him over until he realized there really was no water to get to, just aimlessly wondering the desert dunes, with no where to go and nothing to do.

RING RING

"Grooves Record Store." Hyde answered the store telephone in his usual monotone, gruff voice.

"Steven! This is WB, how are you doing son?" The voice of his biological father gave his usual cheerful greeting.

"Same old same old man, how about you?"

"Pretty good, just got the new store here in Milwaukee up and running." His voice changed to a mix of serious and cautious, something Hyde came to learn to mean he needed to ask him something. "Hey son, I have to reschedule our lunch meeting to Thursday. I have a pretty imported business meeting to get to. Is that fine?"

"Yeah WB, its cool. What is the business meeting about?"

"Well, we'll discuss that at lunch on Thursday. Hopefully it'll turn out like I hope it will."

"Alright see you then WB."

"Bye Steven."

Hyde hung up on the phone on its receiver. "I guess I have to tell Leo he doesn't have to watch the store after all."

The little bell at the door of the store gave its alert of a customer entering the building. Hyde looked up from behind the counter and saw the last person he ever expected to see again.

"Hi Steven." Bud Hyde said while holding his hat in his hands. He looked pretty bad, a lot worse than the last time Hyde saw him. It almost seemed like he had aged 10 years in the 3 years he had been gone.

"What are you doing here Bud?"

"What?" Bud gave a little nervous laugh. "No warm welcome for your old man."

"Well, no thanks to you, I found out last year that you aren't even my real father, so save it."

Bud's eyes widened a bit and he shifted in his position next to the couch in the store. "Oh, so you found out about that?"

"Yep."

They were both lost for words. Hyde had no idea what would bring Bud back to Point Place, much less in his record store. Anger rose up in his belly as he contemplated the audacity of the man standing before him of ever showing his face to him again. "What are you doing here Bud?" He said a little more forcefully.

Bud Hyde took a deep sigh and ran his fingers through his unruly hair. He seemed like he was at a total lost for words. "It's uh… it's about your mother Steven."

"What about that slut?"

Bud's eyes closed and Hyde saw his body clench. He took another long sigh and finally looked up at the boy… no the man before him that he always treated like a son, well… as close as he could possibly. He seemed so hurt and so angry at him still, even though he knew he wasn't his father anymore. It was the man that still haunted Bud Hyde's drunken dreams every night. Those same blue eyes starring daggers into him through rose colored glasses were the same blue eyes he told promises of the world too when he was much, much younger. Promises only spoken and never kept.

"She's dead."


	2. Drag the Waters

An icy chill swept over Hyde's body. _Edna's dead?_

"uh… um…. How?" He barely got it out.

"Well," Bud approached the counter feeling it was okay to get a little closer. "Your mom, you see, she was really sick. The doctors said some kind of bone cancer." Bud gave a slight nervous laugh and sighed again. "Anyways, there wasn't much they could do for her once she found out. They said something like they caught it too late in the game; any attempt at destroying the cancer would only prolong her death. And you know Edna, what with money and all couldn't afford that. So um… she died yesterday."

Hyde's mind was a total blur. He felt nothing but complete shock. He was taken aback by the situation completely. "So, what makes you think I care? She abandoned me just like you..." His voice grew quieter and colder. "She means nothing to me anymore."

Bud watched Hyde's nostrils flare and his arms cross defensively across his chest. He hoped he was just angry and didn't really mean it.

"Well, before she died, she told me she wanted to be buried in Point Place and she wanted you to know she died."

Hyde's chest felt as if a helium balloon was blowing up inside of it. His heart began beating really fast. His ears started to silently ring. "So… what? You actually stuck around while she was dying? Didn't bail on her then too?"

"Look Steven, I know you're upset and…"

"What!" Hyde walked around the counter and pointed his finger in his ex-father's face. "You think I'm upset about this. I told you I don't care. Just like you or her didn't give a damn about me!"

Bud backed up and looked down at the ground in shame again. "I know she and I weren't really there for you…"

"Try _never_ there for me." Hyde turned around and began pacing and running his fingers through his hair. This was too much for him to handle right now.

"Get out Bud."

He listened as Bud Hyde began walking to the door of the store, never turning around to watch him leave. He heard the bell of the door ring as Bud Hyde stepped out into the Wisconsin winter air.

"The funeral is on Thursday at 2." And he left.

And Hyde still never turned around to watch him leave.

Hyde stood in the middle of Grooves grasping all the information that was just given to him. _Edna… cancer…dead_.

"Hyde man, I think I heard a lot of yelling going on in here." Leo said as he walked into the store from the back office.

"Yeah Leo that was me."

"What's up man? Sounded like you were pretty pissed off at whoever was here."

Hyde turned around and looked at the old burnout in front of him. He wondered if he would understand if he told him. "Look Leo… I just found out my mom died and I need a break from the store for a while. Can you watch it while I'm gone?"

Leo stared blankly at him blinking a few times while processing the information. "Sure man. That sucks about your mom man."

"Yeah… yeah it does."

* * *

Jackie Burkhardt sat Indian style on her plush queen sized bed. She patiently listened as she heard Fez packing in the next room, singing to the latest hit on the radio. _Well_, she thought, _at least he's singing now._

The past few days had been a whirlwind of emotions for her. Realizing her current love was just a rebound for some jackass who she just couldn't seem to get over had been pretty draining. She just couldn't keep leading Fez on though. He would eventually figure out her true feelings one way or another. Every time they would kiss she couldn't help but imagine it was Steven's lips. She never let him feel her up. She told him she just wanted to take things slow, that they needed to build on their relationship first. In all actuality however, she really just couldn't imagine herself doing anything sexual with Fez.

So one day while sorting through old pictures and miscellaneous possessions, Jackie came across an old note Steven had written to her and left in her locker at school a long time ago.

_Jackie,_

_Look, I'm sorry what I said earlier about you still being shallow. I know you have changed a lot. I'm not sure if that has anything to do with me or not, but… whatever… I don't think you're shallow. You've actually helped me a lot with Leo leaving. You're the only one who really understands._

_Meet me at the Hub after school. I'll buy you something shiny._

_Steven_

She couldn't help but cry for an hour after she found the note. The past few months had been very regressive for Jackie Burkhardt. She spent all of her time trying to be as aloof and uncaring about her and Steven's relationship (or lack of) entirely. She tried to forget that he married a whore and never thought twice about what he was throwing away. She tried to forget all the lonely nights she spent only wishing she could take it all back and never have left Point Place to begin with.

Then she realized how perfect Fez was for her and everything seemed to get exponentially better. Then she found that note and just couldn't lie to herself any more.

She approached Fez and told him everything, hoping he would understand her pain and confusion. He didn't take it as well as she had hoped. In fact he yelled a lot and wouldn't directly speak to her for 2 days even though they lived together. Now he was moving out to live with Kelso since he "just didn't have a reason to stay in Point Place anymore."

Jackie never felt more alone in her life. Before she at least occasionally had Donna when she wasn't running off with Randy or hanging out with Sam, and then she had the friendship with Fez. But she ruined that, and she was afraid they would never be the same again. The only person left in Point Place for her was Hyde, and she wasn't even sure if that was a guarantee.

Tears slid down Jackie's cheeks as she thought of her unrequited love with Steven Hyde. She still thought about him all the time. Her stomach did cartwheels whenever he was in the same room with her. She felt like a 13 year old girl who had the biggest crush on the unobtainable older guy that wouldn't give her the time of day. Except in her case she had the guy and lost him to her own paranoid insecurities. Everyday the memories of all the things they shared haunted her.

What made everything worse was Jackie still had no way to be sure if Hyde felt anything for her or if he ever did at all. Their relationship seemed like an eternity in the past, almost as if it never existed in the first place. She never talked about it and he never talked about it. No one seemed to remember what they once had and if they did they never dared to bring it up in one or the other's presence.

But she couldn't just avoid Hyde all together and be completely alone. Maybe there was some little hope for a friendship.

Jackie got up and left her bedroom with intentions of finding Hyde and maybe testing the waters. There really wasn't anything more she could lose. Once she got into the living room she found Fez packing some of his bathroom supplies into boxes.

"Hey Fez, I'm going to go out for a while." Her voice was tired and weak, anticipating the next insult he was going to throw at her.

"Where are you going?" He asked nonchalantly while carefully placing his hair products in a linear organization inside of the cardboard box.

"I don't know; maybe see what Hyde is doing." She tensed when she saw him stop and slowly rise to look at her. He placed his hands on his hips and said, "Oh, I see. You're just going to jump right back to him aren't you?"

"Look Fez, I know me and Steven aren't ever going to be anything again. It's just… well… everyone is gone and I don't know anybody else. I have to at least try to make friends." Her words shook with desperation and tears formed at the rims of her eyes.

Fez's countenance softened a little. He had been very hard on Jackie for the past few days and he knew he had to give her a break sometime. He had forgiven her a little. "Well, maybe you guys can be friends."

"Maybe."

Fez went back to packing and Jackie took this as a sign he was done with her… for good.

As much as she would miss Fez's friendship, the possibility of one with Hyde drove her to walk back to her room and not convince Fez to stay.


	3. Bury Me in Smoke

Jackie entered Grooves Record Store with her head held high but her heart at a very low place. It would be a complete lie if she said she wasn't nervous. It was taking all her will power just to calm her shaking hands. This would be the first time in a long time that she confronted Hyde without trying to burn him. She felt like she did on their Veteran's Day date, completely nervous about what he would think of her.

Jackie was a little surprised when she didn't see Hyde behind the counter but Leo, who seemed to be incredibly fascinated with some pens.

"Um, Leo?" She tried getting his attention while cautiously approaching the counter, still looking in her peripherals for Hyde. Leo didn't seem as if he heard her.

"Oh Leeooo."

Still nothing.

Jackie rolled her eyes. "LEO!!!" She shouted.

Leo seemed to jump 3 feet in the air. "Loud Girl! Man you scared me."

"Sorry about that..." She put on her best charming smile. "You wouldn't perhaps know where Ste… I mean Hyde would be….would you?"

"He's not here Loud Girl."

"Well, where is he?"

"Said something about his mom dying and needing to leave the store for a while."

Jackie felt the blood draining from her fingers and toes. "His mom died?"

"Yeah man. I feel bad for the kid." Leo's face seemed to display a genuine visage of sympathy. He then looked down. "Aren't pens crazy man?"

Jackie sighed. She knew that was all she was going to get out of Leo about the situation. She ran out of the store in hopes of finding Hyde and finding out what happened.

"Bye Loud Girl."

* * *

Sounds of acoustic guitar and slow singing filled Hyde's bedroom in the Forman's basement. His lamp on the night stand was the only light filling the room, leaving a soft yellow glow. Hyde rested against the back wall on his bed while sipping on a bottled beer and slowly tapping his foot along to the music. He hadn't really even been thinking about Edna or her dying. Every time a memory would occur he tried to push it away with something less stressful. Now he was just trying to ease all his pain away with a little bit of country music and alcohol. 

Jackie entered the basement and couldn't help but notice how dead it felt inside. _Dead like Steven's mom. _Jackie shook the thought away as she closed the door behind her, slowly easing her way across the floor and to the back where an oh-so familiar room was. She hadn't been in this part of the basement in so long. She gathered in the dusty scent of the wooden walls around her. Usually anything dusty made her feel bad and worry about getting dirt on her clothes, but the smell of this part of the basement always seemed to soothe her. Jackie reached the doorknob of Hyde's bedroom when she suddenly stopped herself.

_What am I supposed to say to him? I know we haven't talked in a long time but I'm sorry your mom's dead_. Jackie took deep breathes through her nose as she calmed her nerves and shaking hands. She was even more nervous than before. This encounter spells out nothing but bad. She could predict he would either be really, really Zen, which always ended in them arguing and fighting, or he would be very pissed off and not want to talk to her.

_Maybe I should just leave and come back another time? _Jackie turned around and began slowly walking towards the couch. _NO!! You came here to make sure Steven is okay. Who cares if you get in a big fight? At least you'll know he's okay. _Jackie quickly walked back to the door before she could talk herself out of it again.

Hyde shook awake from his trance when he heard the demanding clicking of heels outside his bedroom door, followed by a light knock. He really didn't feel like talking to Mrs. Forman at that moment. For all he knew Bud could have came and talked to her trying to be the nice guy again. _What a dick._

"Come in." Jackie's heart jolted in her chest at the sound of Hyde's voice.

Hyde listened as his bedroom door slowly creaked open. He put the beer down on the floor to avoid any further conversation about coping with things from Mrs. Forman. When he looked up he couldn't believe his eyes.

There Jackie stood, wrapped up in her red winter jacket, hands in pockets and eyes peeking out through her raven black hair. He felt his entire body stand still for that brief moment in time as he took in all of her beauty. A sense of déjà vu came over him of the first time Jackie ever came into his room looking just like that. It had been the first time she spent the night with him in the basement. She looked just as scared and nervous then as she did now.

"Hi." She finally said.

"Hi." Hyde backed up, returning into his original position on the bed but never taking his eyes off of her. Jackie wasn't sure if his look of shock was a good thing or a bad thing, but either way she mustered up the courage to sit on the edge of his bed. She felt his eyes follow her the whole way.

"Leo told me about your mom." Hyde watched as she crossed her ankles and looked down at her boots. Her words didn't really register with him too much. He was still just so shocked she was actually in his room.

"Oh… uh yeah." Hyde was quickly brought back to reality and the situation at hand. He leaned forward and picked up his beer again to continue what he was doing before.

Jackie took in the surroundings. Everything looked exactly the same as the last time she saw it. It was as if nothing had changed at all in the time they weren't together. She noticed country music playing from the tiny radio in the corner of his room. She knew he secretly listened to country music whenever he was sad about something. Donna mentioned to her once before that it was all he would listen to when they were broken up after the nurse incident.

"So, how did she die?" Jackie looked at his face searching for the emotions she was hoping to find. She watched as he took a deep breath and stared off to the far end of the room.

"Some kind of bone cancer." Jackie nodded, unsure of what to ask next.

Hyde looked back to the girl sitting next to him. They hadn't been like this in a long time. The sincerity was new but he didn't want to do anything to screw it up at that moment. It felt too nice to ruin.

Jackie looked back to Hyde and was met by his uncovered blue eyes. She felt a gasp squeeze in the middle of her throat, her mouth refusing to let it out. _You can't show weakness now_. Jackie realized just how long it had been since she had looked into those eyes full on, with him looking back at her. She never wanted to look away, but it was too soon for that.

"So, um" She looked down again and scooted closer to him on the bed, leaving only about a foot in between them. "How are you doing?"

Hyde took a few gulps and really considered the question. _Horrible… the woman I have hated my entire life is dead and I'm suppose to not care but I do_. "I don't know."

"Well that's, um, understandable." Jackie gave a slight laugh as she began examining her finger nails, trying to do anything but look directly at him.

Jackie's answer intrigued Hyde slightly. "How is it understandable?"

Jackie's eyes widen as she looked back at the broken man before her. She knew it was just a simple investigation of her opinion, but the question seemed loaded with so much more. It was as if hidden questions were laced behind it and her next response meant more than anticipated.

"Well, she did abandon you and never even attempted to make contact with you, something a mother is never suppose to do." Jackie turned her head and looked back into Hyde's blue eyes again. "But she was your mom…"

Hyde let out a sigh. Why did she have to "get" him so well? "Yeah well, that seems to be the dilemma." He took another long sip from his beer. "Do you want a beer?"

Jackie grinned and took his offering. Staying for a drink meant staying for a lengthy visit. "Sure."

Well it wasn't exactly a peace offering, but it was something.


	4. Underneath Everything

Thanks to all those who reviewed!

I don't really have a summary for this chapter. Just read it, I'm sure most of you will like it well enough. I do however want to address something. To those of you who have Season 5 on dvd and watched the special features, wasn't Danny Masterson's flashback just wonderful season 5 JH moments? I loved how he described Mila as a totally, awesome Russian fairy... very cute.

Also, If anyone was wondering, my post-season 8 Hyde has no mustache. I think most of you agree already that mustaches are gross especially on Danny Masterson. sigh... just another horrible decision by the writers and producers.

Anyways, enjoy!

* * *

The electric glow of the television blazed on the bodies of two former lovers, illuminating the faraway looks on both of their faces. After a brief conversation in Hyde's bedroom, the two decided to move the uncomfortable, silent visit to the main room of the basement and watch some T.V. Both could feel the familiar heat of desire in the cores of their bodies and they needed anything to take their minds of the growing passion with in. 

The familiar need to protect and comfort her Steven had taken complete control of Jackie's thoughts for the night. He never looked so lost before. His eyes had always told her many things in the past: anger, hate, desperation, pain, happiness, sympathy, and yes, even at one point she thought they showed her love. They never showed the complete helplessness they were screaming at her now. It was as if he just completely gave up trying to decipher his feelings and left himself open for a road to follow. The habitual urge for her to be his road played around for awhile. But she couldn't do that, not now, and not ever again.

Reevaluation was the only cycle swimming around in Hyde's mind. He never felt so lost for a conclusion before. His whole life things were always so black and white, crisp and clean, you either can do this or that and the only outcome would be these things. His instincts and reasonability skills have always been his best and worst quality about himself. But the whole structure of decision making came to a crumbling demise immediately when Bud spoke those words_. She's dead_.

Ever since Edna had left, his feelings for her were always a sure thing. He hated her and could careless if she just disappeared off the face of the earth. In fact, Hyde always secretly thought it would be better if she did, something he never really voiced before to anybody. But now that she had, his old feelings of hate were still very prominent and roaring with an even greater fury, but the presiding feeling of guilt had wiggled its way into his heart.

He wasn't sure why he felt guilty and every time he tried to think reasonably of why, he always came to the same conclusion that he shouldn't feel guilty at all. But he couldn't help it. It was sitting there in his gut making him sick like spoiled food that just won't digest. He just couldn't get rid of it.

Hyde also couldn't help but feel apart of him was gone. A long time ago, once the Formans took him in, Hyde had adopted Kitty Forman as a mother. He let her fill the role of his absent biological mother and let her more into his heart than he had ever did with Edna. However, it was as if none of that really even mattered. Maybe blood really was thicker.

That's always where his thoughts ended, still questioning and still unsure about everything.

Hyde looked over on the other side of the couch. Jackie Burkhardt sat with her legs crossed, her foot swinging away. Her elbow was propped on the arm of the couch and she rested her face on her closed fingers. Her beautiful face starred blankly at the T.V. He knew she wasn't paying attention either.

Why had she come? Ever since he had gotten back to Point Place with his new so-called wife, they hadn't shared any kind words with one another. He made sure to keep her distant from him physically and emotionally and she took his insults and burns with strong redemption. As far as he had assumed she hated him and she believed he hated her. It was all mapped out, pre-planned. They were both supposed to forget about what they had and the possibility of it ever occurring again. He knew on his end the struggle was much harder than he ever anticipated and he knew he wasn't completely over her yet, probably never would be. But he had hoped she had forgotten him completely.

And presumably she did. She did date Fez and proclaimed her undying love for him… her one and only somebody.

But now she and Fez were broken up and she was sitting on the couch with him not saying anything. Just sitting like they used to when he was upset, expect then a lot more physical comfort on her part was involved. She had come right after Leo had told her. She had too, he only found out hours before. Why she still cared enough to make sure he was alright was beyond him. She was supposed to hate him after all.

It was just another thing to add to his list of confusing shit that happened today.

He figured he might as well start some kind of conversation. It didn't seem like she was going anywhere for a while.

"So… you and Fez broke up."

Jackie awoke from her hypnotic trance to Hyde's low, rough voice, a voice that always sent electric chills up her spine. It took her a second just to calm her excitement and process an answer. She came up with, "Yeah."

"I thought he was your new lover boy now." Was that disdain in his voice? Jackie frowned at his words. She thought so too.

"Yeah well, I guess I just misinterpreted him. Nothing new, right?" And a low blow from her too. He guessed he deserved that.

"So what are you going to do when he leaves?" Jackie noticed the dropped insulting tone of his voice and his more conversational "I just want to talk" voice appeared. She immediately felt bad about her last comment. She always felt somewhat bad whenever she burned him, even after he was being a complete asshole. Just habit, she guessed.

"I have no idea. Maybe Fenton will give me a break on the rent until I find someone to live with. What are you going to do when the Formans leave?"

"I don't know. I guess I have to find myself somewhere else to live now."

"You mean you haven't even started looking for a place?"

"Nope." Typical, she thought.

Silence fell on the two again. Jackie took it as her opening of asking some unanswered questions.

"So, how did you find out? About you know… " Her voice dropped towards the end. She felt uncomfortable addressing the situation.

"Bud told me."

"Bud told you!" They both turned toward each other, Jackie with lifted eyebrows and Hyde with a "yeah I know" look.

"Yeah, he said her funeral's on Thursday."

Jackie immediately knew her next question might be a bad idea. "Are you going to go?"

"I don't know. Probably not." Hyde shifted uncomfortably in his seat, signaling the rest of the conversation on the subject was closed.

Jackie's brain immediately began reeling of all the ways to convince him to go. She knew he needed to go, he would probably feel a lot better if he did. In all the movies she'd seen and books she'd read they always talked about how when someone you know dies, seeing their body is a good way to get closure. Jackie knew in her heart Hyde's suffering was coming from his lack of closure with his mother. He had always been sensitive about anything dealing with her.

Yes, she was definitely back into her old habits of trying to push Hyde into doing things that she thought was best for him. This time though, she was determined to do it the right way.

Jackie sat with Hyde a little while longer before she went home. Even though he didn't say anything she knew her sitting with him made him feel a little better. It always had before.

Maybe they were both falling into old habits again.


	5. There's Something on My Side

A/N: I'm glad my story is getting such wonderful feedback. This chapter is mostly Hyde's conflicts with going to the funeral. The next chapter will actually be the funeral and probably the longest in the whole story so it may take a few days to get up. But who knows, I might just write the whole thing in one sitting. It's a toss up.

* * *

Hyde opened his eyes from hours of restless sleep. His alarm clock starred back at him reading 7:17 AM. He only got 2 hours of solid sleep. _Well today is going to be just fabulous. _He stretched his body and planted his bare feet on the cold cement floor. The air in the basement was still and freezing with an eerie quiet resting over the entire room. It had been like that since everyone had left. The once friend filled basement, with people always coming and leaving is now as desolate as Point Place itself. 

The smell of sausage and pancakes filled Hyde's nostrils as he made the journey up the wooden staircase. What would he say to the Formans about everything? He knew they would both be supportive, but that was one of the things he feared. He wanted to forget all about Edna just like he had forgotten all about her once before.

The brightness of the Forman kitchen was overbearing and blinding. Hyde shuffled to the kitchen table and took his seat next to Red Forman who was reading the newspaper. Kitty Forman was still cooking at the stove.

"So Steven, did you have a nice night's sleep?" She sounded cheerful as always. Maybe she didn't know yet.

"Not so much." He focused on the plate of pancakes in front of him.

"Aw, well why not?" Kitty carried the frying pan and scooped the sausage onto his plate.

"Uh…" _Should I tell them?_ "Just didn't… not to sure why." He forked a pancake and placed it on his plate looking anywhere but at Mrs. Forman.

A sharp flip of Red's paper got the attention of both of them. He leaned forward and starred at the page as if he couldn't read the words. He then slowly looked over at Hyde with his mouth open wide.

"Red…. What's the matter?" Kitty asked nervously.

Red looked to her and then quickly fixed his composure with a slight grunt. "Um, nothing… nothing's the matter." He then looked to Hyde and slowly handed him the paper. "I, uh, think you should take a look at this."

Hyde grabbed the paper and noticed it was turned to the obituaries page. He didn't even have to look for Edna. He quickly handed Red the paper back and look down at his plate again. "Yeah, I already know."

"What is it Red?" Kitty's anxious eyes pleaded more than her voice did. Red hesitantly handed the paper over to her. Kitty took it in her hands and scanned the page the two were previously looking at. She let out a slight gasp that stabbed pins into Hyde's skin. She then set the paper down and sat down in her chair across from her husband. Her comforting, sympathetic eyes bore into Hyde.

"Steven… I'm…. I'm so sorry honey." He heard her voice crack with tears and he knew this moment would be too much.

"Look!" He noticed how Kitty's hand went to her heart and she jumped back a little at the tone of his voice. He quickly corrected himself. "Look, I'm fine, okay. I don't want to talk about it because it means nothing to me… okay?"

Kitty let out a protesting sigh, but Red stopped her before she could speak. He gave her a demanding look and she backed down and began piling food onto her plate with tiny sobs and sniffles.

It hurt Hyde to see Mrs. Forman so upset. He knew she just wanted to comfort him like she always tried to do. He even considered just letting her hug him just so she would stop crying. But really all he wanted to do was just escape.

"Steven?" Red Forman's voice was sly and questioning. Hyde knew he was about to ask him something serious. "The paper said her funeral is tomorrow."

"Yeah…"

"Well, are you going?"

"I don't know." Kitty let out a louder sob after his words. She began to silently cry in her hands.

"So, because it means nothing to you, you don't want to go." Hyde could feel the intensity of Red's words and his stare.

_No, it's because it means everything to me that I don't want to go!_ Hyde looked the man he saw as a father directly in his eyes. His stern eyes and tight mouth caused Hyde's gut to clench. He knew Red was disappointed. He had expected more from him. Kitty's silent cries to the left of him added to the immense guilt he felt churning away at his intestines. He couldn't take it anymore. He caved.

"Look guys. I'm not saying yes and I'm not saying no. I just have to think about it is all, okay?" He looked back and forth to both of them. Red gave a slight nod and turned away. He wasn't sure how the older man felt about his answer. He felt Kitty's warm hand cover his and he met her gaze.

"Well no matter what, we'll be here for you." Her eyes were warm and caring, just as they always had been.

"Thanks Mrs. Forman."

The rest of breakfast was eaten in silence.

* * *

Jackie sat at the bar of her apartment half listening to the conversation Kelso and Fez were having on the couch together. Kelso had come to pack Fez's boxes into Brooke's car that he had to borrow on account his was too small. All three of them were waiting for Hyde to get off of work so he and Fez could say goodbye. Jackie hadn't told either of them about Hyde's mother. She decided it wasn't her place and if Hyde wanted them to know, he would tell them himself. 

Jackie thought she would feel a little more pained on this day, but all her thoughts were consumed with Hyde. Today was the day she had to convince him to go to his mother's funeral. She still had no idea how she was going to pull it off without it appearing like she was butting in on his business.

Her thoughts were disrupted when a firm knock came to the front door, Steven's knock. A "That must be Hyde" sounded off from Kelso as both the guys jumped up to answer the door. Jackie stood up from the stool and nervously began twisting her hands.

"Hyde man! You shaved your mustache off!" Kelso and Hyde exchanged a hug as Hyde walked into the doorway.

_Thank God for that_, Jackie silently voiced in her head and she gave a slight smile to herself.

Hyde looked up at Jackie from across the room and they both exchanged knowing, almost shy looks. Jackie walked over and joined the group as if nothing was the matter at all.

* * *

Jackie and Hyde waved goodbye as Fez and Kelso drove away. Jackie bit her lip and nervously looked up at Hyde. He hadn't told them a thing during the whole visit. It was as if it was the last thing from his mind. Hyde looked down at her and saw her questioning eyes and immediately knew what she was getting at. 

"You didn't tell them either?" He cocked a questioning eyebrow.

"I thought you would want to do it."

He gave a slight laugh. "I thought cheerleaders tell secrets. It's what they do."

Jackie couldn't help but smile. It was the closest reference to their relationship that had come out of him in months.

"Well this is actually important."

Important. The word settled into Hyde's mind as he pondered it. He hadn't really thought of it like that. Fucked up, yes. Irony, yes. But important… that one was new to him.

"How is it important?" It came out more innocent than can be imagined. Jackie felt the weight of the world on her shoulders. This was the moment. This was the time to convince him to go.

"Well," She crossed her arms and looked into his eyes as she spoke. "This is your chance to get closure. I mean, you never got to when she abandoned you." He furrowed his brow and starred back into her eyes. Jackie's pulse quickened and felt herself beginning to sweat. "You can finally put an end to your relationship with her. You can finally tell her all the things you have ever wanted to say." Jackie let out a sigh as she finished.

Hyde starred down at her in amazement. Since when did she have all the answers he needed? Hyde's heart fluttered in his chest as he soaked in Jackie's words and felt an amazing connection with her. She cleared the smoke for him with a short explanation or sincerity and proposition. Hyde met her eyes again. He noticed the anxious stance of her body and the questioning in her eyes as she waited for him to respond.

His body told him to kiss her senseless as a thank you, but his heart told him to save it for another rainy day.

He just grinned at her and said, "When did you get so smart?"

Jackie felt a tiny blush come on as she let out the nervous sigh from his words in a laugh.

They both began walking to the El Camino feeling the same chemistry that they both had lost hope in from the months of torment and isolation from each other. They weren't supposed to feel this good around each other, at least not since everything got too complicated to handle anymore. They stopped at the driver's door and both starred at the ground not sure of what to say.

"So, um…I'll go with you tomorrow. You know… if you want me to." Jackie peered up at Hyde waiting for his response.

"Um, yeah… yeah sure." Jackie tried to hide the smile as he got his keys and put them in the door to unlock it. "Just meet me at Grooves at like 1:30."

"Okay. Bye." Hyde watched as Jackie walked away and back up to the apartment complex.

Hyde drove back to the Formans contemplating the day's events and the next to come. But more importantly he thought about how great it felt to have Jackie on his side again.


	6. Cemetary Gates

A/N: Finally! I got this chapter up. I wrote the majority of this today, but I have just been so busy the past few days. Forgive me all. I hope you all really enjoy this chapter. I do accept anonymous reviews so all of you reading, please leave one! I love hearing from each and every one of you. Even if you haven't reviewed the story yet but you have been reading it since I started, review! I want to know what everyone is thinking out there.

Quick sum: This is a pretty Hyde centric chapter for obvious reasons. There is a little Jackie internal stuff but this is mostly focused on Hyde. There is going to be quite a few chapters after this one but I haven't decided yet how many. Just know I'm not going away anytime soon.

Enjoy!

* * *

_Thursday, noon._

Hyde sat in the red booth at the new restaurant in Point Place. He wore black slacks, a white shirt, a black blazer and a black tie. He sipped on his soda while he waited for his father to show up for their lunch meeting. He felt oddly calm about the day. It wasn't like there was something to be excited about. No one looks forward to a funeral. But one would assume you would feel some kind of emotion about going to a rare event, being with others. But that just isn't the case. Hyde remembered the first funeral he had ever been to. No one had liked Eric's grandmother too much, but it seemed like all the nice things anyone could ever come up with people got up and said them. No one had really liked Edna either, but he had a feeling this funeral was going to be different. Eric's grandmother actually had people who loved her, a family.

He knew that Edna's funeral was going to be short and simple. As far as he knew the only people going were Jackie, the Formans, him, and possibly Bud. Who would get up and say something about Edna? He knew he wouldn't, and he didn't expect anybody else to either.

WB waltzed into the restaurant and cocked an eyebrow when he saw Hyde wearing formal clothing. He grinned as he took the seat across from Hyde in the booth.

"So Steven, why are you so dressed up today?" Just then the waitress came over and took WB's order. Hyde waited for her to leave to respond.

"I'm going to a funeral."

WB starred back at his son. "Whose?"

"Edna's… you know my mom."

WB sat still for a moment in his seat. "Oh, well um… that's very unexpected."

"Yeah, I thought so to."

WB studied his son for a moment. He seemed very calm and zen about the situation, much like he always was about everything.

"Well, I'm sorry Steven. I know you and your mother weren't very close and all but…"

"It's okay WB. I'm fine." Hyde waived an aloof hand, showing he didn't need any comforting.

"Well, okay son." They were both silent and didn't say anything until the waitress came back with their food.

"So, how did your business meeting go?" Hyde said while taking a bite of his burger.

"Oh, good good." WB sat up straight and beamed down at his son. "I actually came here to discuss that with you. I was in Madison the past few days looking at this new place I was considering buying. And well… I did!"

"That's great WB. But I don't understand why you needed to talk to me about this."

"Well, I want you to run the store in Madison, Steven. It's going to be much bigger than the one here in Point Place, and I figured you would probably rather live in Madison than here anyways, you know since it's a bigger city and everything. This one will still be yours, but you just need to find another manager, if you choose to run the one in Madison."

Hyde sat slightly perplexed in his seat. _Another store? In Madison?_

"You don't have to make the decision right now. I know that you must be going through some stuff what with you mom passing away." WB showed true concern in his eyes as he looked at his son.

"Yeah, uh, yeah, I'll think about it WB." Hyde shifted in his seat still surprised at the offer his father just made him.

"So, how did she die Steven?" WB's voice got lower and softer and he tried to make eye contact with Hyde as he waited for the answer.

"Bud said it was some kind of bone cancer."

"Bud? As in the guy you thought was your dad?" WB questioned.

"Yeah him. That's really all he told me other than the funeral is today." Hyde shook his head and went back to his burger.

WB sat back in the booth and didn't say anything for a while. Hyde grew nervous. He watched as his father's face turned sad as if he were thinking of something, or maybe remembering. He watched as WB looked back at him and stared for quite sometime. Hyde shifted again, trying to forget about why it felt so hot in the room all of a sudden. He didn't like talking about this. He hated talking about this! Why did everyone seem so damn interested?

"Steven," Hyde looked up again as his father leaned in on the table to begin talking. "Would you mind if I went with you today? You know, to the funeral."

Hyde knitted his eyebrows together in confusion. "Um, sure WB, but why do you want to go?"

"If you don't remember, I did at one time know her too Steven." He gave a slight chuckle and inhaled his breath as if the memories of her were nice. "It'd be nice to see her one last time I guess, even though these are a different kind of circumstances. Plus, I want to be there for you son."

WB's last sentence caused a warm feeling to bubble up in Hyde's chest. He only felt that feeling with the Formans before: whenever Kitty would fuss over him, or whenever he and Red would have a nice conversation about anything and everything. Ever since he met his dad, their relationship had been mostly of the friendly or business nature. But now his dad wanted to be there for him in a way that didn't deal with the store or hanging out for their monthly lunches.

"Sure Dad." He smiled. "That sounds nice."

* * *

_Thursday, 2:00 pm _

Hyde entered the funeral home with Jackie to his right and his father to his left. He saw the Formans already seated towards the front and Bud sitting on the very front row. The preacher was standing behind a podium next to a black casket. Hyde's feet felt like ten ton bricks were attached and he could barely allow himself to move forward. He couldn't see Edna yet where the opening of the casket was, but he knew she was in there, and he wasn't sure if he could look. He felt a familiar arm loop into his and lightly pull him to walk. He followed Jackie's tug without much reluctance, but he knew the only reason why he moved was because she was urging him to. As they got closer to the casket he noticed Edna's flaming red hair encircling her pale creamy face. He didn't remember her being so pale.

Hyde, Jackie and WB seated themselves in the front row right in front of the casket. Hyde couldn't tear his eyes away from his dead mother in front of him. _She really is dead, she really is gone._

Hyde heard a deep voice begin to talk but he mostly tuned it all out. He didn't really care to hear about how to cope when a loved one dies from a man who never knew who Edna Hyde really was. All the words in the world couldn't describe how he felt and all the comforting wouldn't ease away his emotions.

He looked over to Bud who sat there hanging on to the words the preacher said. Hyde noticed tiny streams of tears running down his face. It felt odd seeing this man cry, a man who he always thought to be heartless and who didn't give a damn about him or Edna. But, they did run away together 3 years ago. Who knows what kind of things they went through?

He then looked to Kitty and Red Forman. Kitty had a slight, teary smile on her face as she nodded along to the preacher's words. Apparently it must really have been something. Red wasn't as obvious as his wife, but he too seemed to be pleased with what the preacher had to say. Maybe he could relate in a way since his mother died too.

Hyde then looked to his father. WB wasn't looking at the preacher and didn't seem to be listening at all. He was only staring at Edna with a faraway look in his eyes. He wasn't crying but he did seem a little upset, but mostly Hyde saw a slight twinkle in his eyes as he looked down at the woman. He never asked WB about him and Edna. He never thought to care before. Maybe one day he would.

And lastly, he looked to Jackie. He couldn't help but noticed how beautiful she looked today. He always liked it when Jackie wore darker clothing. It seemed to bring more of the edgy, almost sophisticated look to her out. He noticed the slight pursing of her lips and down-turning of her brow as she absorbed the speech. She seemed to either not like what the reverend had to say or wasn't exactly following him. Hyde figured it was a little bit of both. Even though everyone knew that what Edna did to him was wrong, no one really seemed to understand as well as Jackie. Jackie did go through a similar experience, did she not?

Hyde then looked up to the reverend in front of them, still talking away about a woman he had probably never met in his life and would not think about tomorrow. It was nothing new for him to see. He had probably done a hundred of these. "Edna Hyde was a wife and a mother, and she will dearly be missed."

Hyde couldn't help but slightly scoff at the last words.

* * *

Once everyone had their own little visit at the casket, Jackie and Hyde both approached it. An icy chill surged through Hyde's body as he got closer and closer to Edna. He felt Jackie squeeze his hand to reassure him that she was still there. They both stopped and silently studied the corpse. Hyde suddenly had the realization that this was the first time Jackie had ever met his mother.

"So, Edna, this is Jackie. Jackie, this is Edna." He gave a slight nervous chuckle at his twisted joke and let out a huge sigh.

"I never had formally met your mother. Well, other than the one time I actually went to the cafeteria freshman year." She too gave a slight laugh.

Hyde studied his mother's body. She seemed much thinner than the last time he had seen her. Most likely from the cancer she had suffered. Her face seemed more gaunt and older, much like Bud's had changed in all the years of absence. She almost didn't look real as she lay in front of them, in the black sleek casket, with plush white lining cradling her. Her body was unnaturally stiff but her face looked very much alive. She had pounds of makeup on and she was pale as a ghost, but it was almost as if she was sleeping and at any moment she would pop her eyes open.

Hyde felt Jackie squeeze his hand again and he tore his eyes away from his mother. She looked up at him sympathetically as she spoke, "Do you want me to leave you alone for a second."

"Yeah," he managed to get out. "I'll be out in a minute."

She smiled slightly. "Okay, I'll wait for you." She gave his hand another squeeze and walked away from him and out of the funeral home.

Once he was sure everyone was gone, Hyde turned back to his mother, still stationed exactly as she was before. It was now or never.

"Well Edna," He began slowly. "Looks like we finally meet again." He laughed a little and moved closer to the casket. He paused a second trying to think of what to say. What did he really want to say?

"You know all those things the preacher said wasn't true. You won't be missed. Well, maybe Bud will miss you, but I surely won't." He stopped and watched the corpse. It still didn't move. He felt a little more confident.

"I know it might seem cold hearted, but you were cold hearted." Hyde felt the heat boiling in his core. "You know, whenever I was younger, and you and Bud would fight all night long, I always felt bad for you. I always hated him because he made you cry. But you know what's funny… you never once came to check and see if I was okay... to see how your screaming affected me."

"You never really were a good mother. Not like Mrs. Forman is. She at least tries to make sure her kids are doing okay. You never gave a fuck. It got to the point that you just couldn't stick around."

"You know, I used to think that was my fault too. That, I must have not have been a good son or some shit like that. But now, now that I really think about it, and really see how actual families work… it didn't matter what I did. You should have cared about me no matter what. I'm not sure what I did early on to make you the way you were, or if it was me at all, but just to let you know… you suck because of that."

Hyde took in another deep breath. Now it just seemed as if the words wouldn't stop. "You knew how upset it made me when Bud left. Hell, you were upset about it too. But, you left anyways. You didn't care about me at all. You didn't care that I was left all alone in a house that the rent and the bills needed to be paid. You didn't care what happened to me while you were off fucking some trucker. You didn't care what all of that did to me. You didn't care that I am now a cold person who can't let one person get close to me. I don't trust anybody or anything because of you. I even drove away the only person in this world who loved me and I loved her …because of you …. And sometimes, I hate you for that"

"But you know what's funny about this whole experience. I actually felt bad when I heard you died. Even after all these years of hating your guts, hearing you were dead still affected me. I'm not sure why, and I still have no idea why I feel bad about this… I guess I just have more of a heart than you ever did."

"I do know one thing though… I'm done with you. I forgive you for everything. You probably had some purpose to it all. But I can't keep living this way, blaming you, blaming Bud, hating you, hating myself. I forgive you Edna…. Goodbye."

Hyde took one last look at his mother and he left.

* * *

As the casket was lowered into the ground, light snow started to fall. It was as if some higher power that Hyde liked to acknowledge only some of the time was trying to bury Edna faster. A prayer was said as the grave diggers shoveled the dirt on top of the box. She was gone. There was no turning back now, no more dwelling in the past, only looking forward to the future.

* * *

Jackie sat in the driver's seat of the El Camino as she waited for Hyde to come back. All of her female instincts were kicking into overdrive. The torn look on Hyde's face when he left the funeral home made her want to hold him and kiss all his worries away. But she knew that would be a bad thing to do. She watched as Hyde walked back to the car with his head hung low not looking at the car in front of him. She wondered what was going through his mind right now. He didn't say much on the way to the cemetery. She wasn't sure if that was a bad sign or not. 

Hyde opened the door and scooted into the passenger seat of the El Camino. It felt weird not to be driving but he didn't want to concentrate on anything at all. Jackie gave him a stunned, inquisitive look when he told her that he thought she should drive. He never let her drive the El Camino before, unless it was absolutely necessary. He knew Jackie was probably thinking he was upset and depressed beyond belief.

"So…where to now?" Jackie hesitantly asked as she started the engine. She looked over to her ex boyfriend as he thought of where he wanted to go. The next words out of his mouth were even more of a surprise than when he told her she could drive. "Your place."

* * *

The inside of Jackie's apartment was very dark for it only being 4 in the afternoon. The snow storm that was slowly building outside darkened the sky and the moods of everyone in Point Place. It felt right though for such a day like this to both Jackie and Hyde. They both stripped away their coats and settled down on the couch next to each other, one trying to contemplate his new outlook on life and the other trying to calm her whirling hormones. 

Jackie stared at Hyde as he sat on the couch with his elbow propped on the arm and his head resting against his fingers. He seemed to be deep in thought and like he didn't want to be disturbed. Jackie had to say something though… anything to stop her confusing feelings brewing inside.

"So… " He peered over at her and for the first time Jackie noticed he didn't have his sunglasses on. His eyes seemed different… as if there was more going on with him than she knew. "Do you feel better now… you know… after going to the funeral?" It was a dumb question, she knew that, but she really didn't know of any other way to ask.

Hyde shrugged. "Yeah. I mean, at first I thought it was going to be horrible, and for the most part is was, but after I said goodbye to Edna I felt a lot better about things."

The uncharacteristic openness he was displaying only tempted Jackie to poke further. "So what did you say to her?"

Hyde gazed at the tiny brunette that sat next to him, sitting on her hands and holding her lips tightly together as she awaited his answer. He almost forgot this part of her, the needy Jackie who always wanted him to speak about his feelings. She was always pushing things out of him and trying to get him to admit that he actually gave a damn about people and emotions. Everyone else just accepted Hyde for who he was, but not Jackie. For a long time in their relationship he always resented that about her. He hated that she pushed him into uncomfortable places, trying to break his walls and get inside his head. Now he realized that she never meant harm by it. As Jackie sat there beside him, nervously anticipating his answer, Hyde realized that all she wanted was him completely, just like she gave herself completely.

"Just all the things I've ever wanted to say to her… you know… like you said." He smiled at her and she smiled back. "I forgave her."

Jackie's eyebrows raised and her eyes softened. "You did?"

"Yeah, I figured… I can't, you know, be angry about what she did anymore. It only makes me worse of a person." Hyde watched as Jackie held back a smile at his admission. Why couldn't he just have been this open with her all along?

"So everything's in the past now, huh?" Jackie asked. Her words immediately sent off warning bells inside Hyde's head. _Why does that seem so familiar?_ He then realized where he had heard it before. That's what he always said to reassure himself about his and Jackie's relationship. It was all in the past.

Yet she was sitting there, trying her hardest to be there for him. The girl whose heart he ripped to pieces once he decided to stay with Sam was sitting there, next to him, not hating him or burning him. She was helping him with his problems, accompanied him to the funeral, held his hand, and stood by his side despite all that had happened between them. Maybe this was what unconditional love was… maybe he should have trusted her all along.

"Jackie…" Jackie looked into his eyes and thought she saw all of him in them. He furrowed his brow and took a deep breath trying to collect his words. She felt him scoot closer to her and look her in the eyes again. He looked genuinely sad as his baby blues slightly shook as he spoke, "About everything that happened last year, I'm so sorry…"

But he couldn't finish his sentence. Jackie's lips were on his and her arms were around his neck. He kissed her back with all the passion that the year had put between them, the anger, the sorrow, and the pain of missing each other.

* * *

A/N 2: The next chapter will be a little bit of Jackie/Hyde angst. You didn't think it was going to be that easy did you? There's no way he's going to get off with being a complete jerk. I think an update will be here in a few days so get ready... 


	7. This Love

A/N: Yay, I finally have an update up. Sorry for keeping most of you waiting so long. I loved the feedback I got from my last chapter. I was a wee bit nervous about it since I know most haven't attempted a funeral scene yet. I love hearing from you guys. This chapter is pretty much getting things out in the open for these two. Enjoy and review!

* * *

Jackie woke up to a completely dark room and a warm, familiar body next to her. It took her a moment to realize she was in her own bed, in her own apartment, cuddled up next to Steven Hyde, and naked for that matter. She snuggled her face closer into his arm which was draped over her body. They were spooning, one of their favorite sleeping positions. 

It was well into the night now, and Jackie slowly remembered how she and Hyde spent the past few hours together. Having sex and sleeping in each others arms had been something on the top of Jackie's wish list for quite some time. Jackie took a deep sigh and relaxed underneath Hyde's body as she tried to lull herself to sleep again, but for some reason, something just didn't sit right with her…. Something telling her she shouldn't be enjoying this moment so much.

Images of pain cut right through her chest. Sam waltzing through the Forman's door announcing her position as Hyde's wife, Hyde burning her and calling her a bitch in front of everyone, all those nights she spent wishing for this very moment.

Jackie felt sick and angry. It only took just a little bit of sympathy and kind words and she was already in bed with him again. It was always so easy to fall into old habits with him.

_Not this time_. Now she was raging. She threw his arm off of her and jumped out of the bed. She began to rummage around trying to find her clothes that were flung across the floor.

Hyde felt his arm jolt and he immediately woke up to the sight of Jackie angrily searching for her clothes on the floor. Confusion blurred his sleepy mind. "Jackie what are you doing?"

His groggy, oblivious voice sent chills up her spine, and not the usual chills his voice gave her…. no these were angry chills. "I'm getting away from you." She said as she buttoned her blouse up. It was the only item she could find in the mess and decided to just bolt for it.

Hyde's body quickly responded and woke up to the tone of her voice. "What do you mean you're trying to get away from me?"

Jackie jerked her head and stomped her foot on the ground. He began to put his own clothes on, still not taking his eyes off of her, waiting for her answer. "Well in the midst of all the sex we were having, I forgot I'm supposed to be pissed off at you."

Hyde walked towards her, "But Jackie... OW!" Jackie had kicked him in the shins and stormed off to her bathroom. The sound of the lock clicking hurt a little more than the kick did.

Hyde stood still for a moment trying to get a grasp on what just happened. He should have known it wasn't going to be that easy for him. He didn't deserve to have it that easy. He hobbled to the door and pressed his body against it. He could tell Jackie was leaning on the other side. "Jackie, come on… come out of the bathroom."

"NO!" Jackie said through a shrilled voice and a sniffle. _Damn she's crying._

"Jackie…." It came out drawn and pretty pathetic, but he really had no idea how to get out of this. He was dreading this moment. He knew it would come eventually. He slid down the door and sat against it with his back. _What am I suppose to say to her?_

They both sat against the thin, wooden door. The distance between them was miniscule but it felt like a mile. They had put up too many walls never broken down.

Hyde heard Jackie's light sobs from the other side of the door. _No, don't do that babe. Please anything but that. _He ran his fingers through his hair trying to figure out the words to start. He hadn't planned any of this out. He really wasn't sure what he could say. He was never good with words. How was he supposed to make the worst thing in the world sound good enough for her?

Jackie wasn't sure what she wanted. One part of her wanted him to just go away and forget that this moment ever happened between the two of them. But a very large part of her ached for him to do anything he could to try to win her over again. But that was their problem in the first place, wasn't it? She always expecting things out of him that she knew he could never live up to.

"Jackie…" His voice was different, less pleading. It was the kind of voice he used when he wanted to tell her something important. She could tell he was no longer standing but practically sitting right behind her. Jackie turned her body to face the door and put her hand against the wood. Was that his heat she could feel? _Please Steven, please tell me._

"Look, I know you're upset… about…. well, everything. And, I'm sorry." Jackie listened closer. _There has to be more. _"Look, I'm not good at saying this. You know that, I know that."

_Yes…._

"I love you Jackie."

Jackie felt her heart constrict in both happiness and pain. This all seemed so familiar before.

"You don't mean that." She screamed. "That's what you said last time when you cheated on me with that nurse. You're just saying that to get me back."

A mix of failure and rage began boiling inside Hyde. How could she not see that he loved her? Maybe not now, but then. Then he had shown her in any way he knew how, just without saying the words. Wasn't that enough? Was his efforts just taken in vain and she couldn't see how hard it was to let her know that?

"Damn it Jackie!" She felt him punch the wall beside the door frame. Her body immediately tensed and her tears seemed to stand still.

"Is that all you think I am?" He was yelling now and she could tell he was mad as hell. Her stomach coiled and she felt like a frightened little girl. "Did you think after all we went through when we were together, that I never loved you? Do you think that I would stoop so low to Kelso's level and lie to you about that? Fuck…."

Jackie leaned her body against the door and stroked the wood with her fingers, hoping that maybe he could somehow sense her. She was too afraid to come out though. "You know…" He began speaking again, but his voice was much quieter now and it seemed very tired. Hyde hesitated a moment and wondered if he should tell her. He had to though; it might be his last chance. And didn't he tell Edna he wouldn't let her or anybody control his life anymore? He had to bite the bullet, stop pussyfooting around and just tell her. "You know, it hurt so much when Mrs. Forman gave me that note you wrote. It was like you didn't trust me at all."

Jackie's breath stopped and it felt like a knife had stabbed into her chest. "Wh-wh-what do you mean?"

"That note you wrote, telling me you left for Chicago anyways. You couldn't even stick around for my answer. It was like the 2 years we were together meant nothing at all to you." It was harsh. Probably the harshest thing someone had ever told Jackie. It hurt more than when Kelso told her that he couldn't be with her because she made him feel bad about himself. New tears began welling in her eyes again.

"But I came back." Her voice quivered with urgency. "I came back and all you could say was "Have fun in Chicago."

"I was pissed off Jackie!" His voice rose again. She then heard him sigh. "I figured at the time if you couldn't trust me enough to wait for my answer… then fuck it."

"So why did you come back for me?" She had to know… If he told her what she thought he came for… to ask her to marry him… she wasn't sure how her conscience would take it.

"I don't know. I mean, I do know. I wanted to tell you all of this." He sounded distant with his words. "I wanted to tell you to come back with me, to stay with me."

Jackie's heart twisted inside her chest. Why did she never think about it this way before? How could she not have sensed his pain and saw through his zen exterior like she had so many times in the past.

Oh yeah… Sam happened.

"So…" She began. She tried her hardest to hold her voice steady and keep the tears back. "If you loved me so much, and wanted me to stay…. Why did you have to run off to Vegas and marry Sam?"

"Because," Hyde swallowed back his answer. This is the part where he got stupid with them and made all the mistakes. "I was just so pissed off when I saw Kelso in that towel. And I know, I know nothing happened. But, it was almost as if I didn't care if something happened or not. I knew that that same bullshit was never going to end. It was always going to have to go back to him."

"Only because you make it go back to him!" Jackie sighed. He was always so insecure when it came to her and Kelso. She knew she didn't exactly help much, what with the "get off my boyfriend" fiasco and then prancing around, pretending she had so much trouble choosing between the two. She knew neither of those helped with his insecurities about it. But he could have stayed and found out the truth. Jackie stroked her hand against the door again. She really hated this door. It was meant to protect her from everything about him. Now she just wanted to see him while they spoke.

Hyde heard the light little click of Jackie unlocking the door. He stood up from his seat and slowly opened it. Jackie stood by the counter not looking up at him but not looking down either. She looked so hot in her blouse and panties, but so small and innocent with her tear stained cheeks and slightly tangled hair. She glided towards him and he wrapped his arms around her small frame and she buried her face in his chest. He nestled his face in her hair and he could smell the expensive shampoo she used. Their hug was filled with everything they wanted to say, all the sorries and all the 'I love yous'.

Jackie pulled away and wiped the tears from her eyes. Hyde cupped her chin and his thumb rubbed her rosy cheek. He smiled down at her as she gazed up at his, her eyes dancing in the moonlight entering through her bedroom window.

"Steven, I'm sorry, for not trusting you. I was just scared." Hyde wrapped his arms around her again and held her close. "It's okay, I don't care about that anymore."

"Really?" Jackie sniffled again and wiped away more tears.

"Yes."

More sniffles, "Good." And more sniffles. And then Hyde felt his body being pushed away from her and before he could react, he felt tiny hands pushing on his chest causing him to walk backwards a few feet and lose his balance right about to the bed. He looked up at Jackie and saw fire in her eyes as she placed her hands on her hips and cocked her head to the side.

"Now you're going to tell me why the hell you stayed with that shank whore and left me alone and wallowing for months you jerk!" Jackie screamed and kicked Hyde in the shins again.

"OW!" He immediately gripped his leg to apply pressure. "That hurts and you aren't even wearing shoes."

"I know." Jackie gave a little cocky smirk and sat down next to him on the bed waiting for his answer.

"Well…"

_Damn she's impatient_

Hyde tried to collect his thoughts as the pain subsided. "I don't know Jackie. I didn't even know I married her and when I did, I just knew I fucked up big time and there was no way in hell you would take me back."

"So you stayed with someone you didn't love because you assumed I wouldn't take you back?"

"Would you have?" He cocked a questioning eyebrow at her.

Jackie's face scrunched up a little and she looked down at the comforter. "I-I don't know…But that's not the point." Confidence illuminated Jackie's face as she looked Hyde in the eyes again. "You broke my heart staying with her Steven and you were so mean to me afterwards. How could you do that to someone you love?"

Hyde ran his fingers through his unruly hair. Life sucked. This sucked! Hyde felt like bolting for it right then. Just tell her the typical "I don't know" and if she likes it, fine, and if she doesn't… well her loss.

But he knew all to well it wasn't just going to be her loss. He had played this game with her one too many times before and it always ended with him making an ass of himself and her leaving in tears. So, why not just tell her the truth, and if she likes it, great, and if she doesn't… well….

"Look Jackie…" He turned to face her to make sure she knew he really meant what he was about to say. "We had been through so much, and I had no idea how to fix any of it. I knew that I hurt you really badly, and you didn't deserve that. I had really, really fucked up and you didn't deserve someone who would just keep screwing you over. I just thought… " He looked down at his lap and sighed. "I just thought that it would be easier for you to get over it if you hated me."

Jackie was stunned. She wasn't expecting this kind of answer. "Well… it didn't."

They were both silent for several minutes as they lost themselves deep inside their thoughts trying to figure out where to go from here. Was this really a settlement? Did they completely understand each other yet? Jackie felt like it was a no.

"Steven…" she laughed a little and he grabbed her hand. "You know what our problem is?"

"What?"

"We just have way too many trust issues. You don't trust me about Michael and I don't trust that you really love me."

"I always thought that you just knew." He squeezed her hand and pulled her in closer to his body.

"I never just know Steven." Jackie groaned. "I have to be told, constantly just to make sure."

"How about if I promise I will every once in a while." Hyde smiled down at her as she met his playful gaze.

"More than once every 2 years and you have yourself a deal." They sealed their agreement with a gentle kiss.

"And now do you know that I don't love Michael. I love you and only you."

"Yeah, I kind of figured that out when you told him no when he asked you to marry him." Jackie grinned and climbed in Hyde's lap and kissed him again, this time with a little more force and passion.

"Wow." Hyde said after the kiss was through.

"What?"

"I just thought I would get more of a fight out of you about all of this. Not that I'm complaining."

"Well," Jackie smiled. "I will yell about this to you for the rest of your life, but I just want to get some sleep now. Besides, you have been a lot more open than I thought you would be."

Hyde leaned in and kissed her again. They both crawled up to the end of the bed and settled in under the covers. Hyde lounged on his back while Jackie snuggled onto his side and rested her head on his chest.

"I love you Puddin' Pop."

"I love you too Dollface." It still was hard to get out, but it was easier than the first two times he said it. It would just be something he had to get used to, one more wall needing to be torn down.

For several minutes they both drifted off into their own little worlds, which were completely filled with each other. Jackie listened as Hyde's rapid, rhythmic breathing began signaling he was almost asleep.

"Steven?"

He stirred slightly, "Yeah?"

"Will you move in with me?"

Hyde opened one eye and looked down at her. _Is she serious?_ _We just got back together_.

"Really?" Hyde slowly lifted his body so he and Jackie could face each other. Jackie moved up and leaned on her elbow looking shyly at him as she anticipated his answer. "Yeah, since you know… the Formans are leaving in like a week."

"Yeah… that is true." Hyde looked at his girlfriend and couldn't help but notice how gorgeous she looked at moments like these. "I would love to babe." He grabbed her face and pressed his lips to hers as she anxiously welcomed him to her mouth.

They both soon drifted off to sleep, the first time in a year feeling whole again.

* * *

A/N 2: Once again, I do accept anonymous reviews, so don't be shy, let me know what you think. 


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